Grief and Loss

You’re still getting the hang of this grief thing.

Obviously, you’ve always expected that grief would hurt.

You even knew that grieving would settle as a palpable ache in your heart and body, which put you quite a ways ahead of those poor folks who have no idea that loss comes with both physical and spiritual pain.

But now, with grief set loose upon your specific, personal experience, new metaphors bop around wildly, trying to find purchase in your heart.

Those metaphors start spinning around in your head.

Maybe grief is a puzzle or a code. You think, “If I can figure out this part, I’ll crack this. I need to make sense of everything, and then we’ll be ok.”

Perhaps grief is a skipping record with the needle repeatedly landing on the same notes to provide us with the balm of a pleasant memory before disappearing again.

Could grief be an injury? Can we measure it like scientists have scaled the excruciation of venom from various ants and wasps? Today the suffering is level two, and tomorrow level one. Thursday of next week, it may be level four.

Should we consider whether grief is a pulse, a lifeline – a form of communication? “Can you hear me, my beloved one?” “Do I hear you, long-lost voice?” “Might I keep you a little bit alive for as long as I remember you?” What about after? What about after that?

“Grief turns out to be a place none of us know until we reach it.”
– Joan Didion, The Year of Magical Thinking

Grief is a natural and deeply personal response to loss.

Aside from birth, no human experience is as universal as death. If we have the good fortune of living long enough to love another, we will eventually learn that grief is the price we pay for love.

Because grief is not a disease or disorder, grief support in therapy is not about fixing something wrong. Instead, grief work is a process of rediscovery and reconstruction, creating and coming to terms with a meaningful life after a loss.

Whether you’re coping with the death of a loved one, the end of a significant relationship, or any other form of profound loss, I’m here to help you navigate the unique challenges and emotions you may be experiencing.

Coming alongside you in that work is my sacred privilege. Together, we’ll gently gather those broken pieces – the memories, beliefs, sensations, and stories of your loss. This collection will be yours to keep and to treat as a precious raw material. When you’re ready, let’s discover what new things you create from these exquisite materials.