About Therapy with Me

You’re not always going to be in the mood to go to therapy.

You’ve had a long week – and it’s only Tuesday. Sticky notes with your “to-dos” are dropping off your monitor. Even though you are alone, you feel embarrassed knowing you won’t do any of these tasks today. You zone out, thoughts clipping between excuses and ideas, feelings darting from anxiety to annoyance.

Ding! The notification tone rattles you back into the moment. You glance at your phone: Session with Chelsea starts in 15 minutes – “Oh, right. Therapy.”

The thoughts pour in fast and furious: “Last time was so hard. I don’t know if I’m up for this right now.”

“I was supposed to practice that new DBT skill… what was it? Well, shoot. She’s going to be disappointed in me.” “I’m super busy this week. Maybe taking this time for myself is selfish.” “Focusing this much on myself is… scary.” “This is going to be hard. I don’t think I’m up for this right now.”

You log onto the telehealth platform, still feeling tense and distracted. You click the session link, and the video blinks to life – “Here we go.”

Despite the roadblocks you had to push past, you’ll be glad you came.

For a moment, you consider what we must look like from the outside – just two people in different towns, separately absorbed in our laptops.

One or both of us must stretch our legs, may run to warm up our coffee, or double-check that our door is closed and that our white noise is running on the other side. One will default into some pleasantries while the other chuckles and settles into their seat, adjusting a strand of hair in the de facto mirror of the video screen.

Somewhere between the stretching and the standard greetings, a shift begins. You can feel the quality of your attention changing. Memories of your staff meeting this morning, that awkward interaction with your colleague, and even those accusatory sticky notes on your monitor start to soften as your mind turns more fully to this moment.

You exhale and recognize with some surprise that you have been holding your breath just a bit. You instinctively draw a deeper pull of air in your next breath and allow yourself to release it through a long sigh. Your heart rate slows along with your breathing.

Therapy offers a sacred space to be YOU.

Coming together in this simple arrangement, you in your chair and me in mine, we have created a new and sacred space. It is warm, affirming, and joyful.

In this space, we will sift through the debris of your old wounds, regrets, and inadequate or limiting beliefs. Here you will develop your tolerance for taking up space, making your voice heard, and prioritizing your own needs.

We will identify the best-fit tools to propel your healing, such as improved emotion regulation, interpersonal skills, motivational tactics, emotion validation, and lots of humor. We also will practice body liberation, a challenge to live as though your body fully deserves dignity and respect precisely as it is right now, regardless of the oppressive social and political systems that say otherwise.

In this sacred space we create, you will learn that I am very stubborn about one thing: you are already worthy, lovely, and wise. I consider it a rich privilege to join you in clearing the way back to the truth of your intrinsic value.